Recognizing my Mother (And All Mom Out There)

I’m crying just by thinking that I love my mama so much. I couldn’t think of any but “I don’t know if I can accept when it’s time for her to go”. Because honestly, every time that thought crosses my mind I couldn’t help myself but cry because it squeezes my heart. I know all things come to an end, but, it is easier said than accept.

From the very first time, when we were still little, she’s there for us. My father is an OFW and we only get to see him every one year, two years and the worst..six years. My mother raised us, dressed us up, fed us, supported us, guide us.. ALONE. She fought for us; against our teachers, relatives and classmates who mocked and bullied us. She made our projects, review us our lessons and even became a stage mother! She is so proud of us and our little talent, I could tell. 🙂

We were poor back then. For us to eat, we have to charge our groceries to her friend. I remember their unfriendly teller who always bully us whenever we charge something, as if, she’s the owner of the grocery store. I also remember the feeling of shame whenever we don’t have nothing on our table, she will instruct us to go to the nearest sari-sari store, ask for noodles and sardines and say “Palista muna daw po sabi ni mama.” Often time we have to buy 1/8 kilo of pork and veggies because our money will not be enough to buy for a kilo and whole chicken. We also have to divide “galunggong” so all of us have something to eat. Above all, I will not be able to forget the time that she got sick and all she have in her purse is 17 pesos. I don’t know how she/we survived that.

Our family’s life story is very long, hard and full of emotion; my mother, until now, is able to survive it all. Her life now is not perfect, there are still bumps and heartaches along the road ,but, she still manages to walk on with the help of our God.

I truly believe that what we are now is the result of how our mother sharpened and motivated us. She’s an amazing woman. She cries, she hurts, she fell, but, she’s still with God. She’s wonderful. I don’t get the chance to say this to her because I don’t want to get emotional, but, she’s really is my strength. I know she loves us so much, in spite of us frequently hurting her with our words.

She talks a lot. I don’t want her high pitch tone. I want her telling stories, but, not her never ending stories. I don’t want her when she’s getting vulgar, but, I love her honesty. I hate her knocking on my door while I’m resting, but, I love her when she reminding me that I’m gonna be late for work. I always say she doesn’t cook well, but, deep inside me I love how plain and crazy she cooks. I don’t like her picking clothes for me, but, when I’m trying them on I’ll say “bagay sa’kin no?“.

Each time I encounter things I hate about her,  I immediately reminds myself that “One day you’ll miss her voice and all the things you hate about her. One day you’ll ask God to please bring back her voice and all the things you hate about her because you miss  her so much.” I don’t want that to happen, that is why I let her speak and do whatever she wants.

I’m praying to God to please give me a job that will keep me from sustaining my parents, my father was stroked by the way. I want to give them the best of life. I don’t want them to work anymore because they’re getting old. I want my mother to be healthier for us and my father.

At her age now, I want her and my papa to live peacefully. I am praying to God to please help me achieve what I’m dreaming for them. All things in my mind even before is for them. My parents deserve to have a beautiful life.

To all mothers out there, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! Thanks God for we have you in our life! Without you, we will not be here.

I always say “Hindi natatapos ang obligasyon ng ina sa anak dahil nag-pagtapos na sila ng pag-aaral AT hindi din natatapos ang obligasyon ng anak sa ina dahil nag-asawa na ang mga ito.

We have to recognize our mother as long as we live. Only our mother can do terrible things for us. They already risked their lives for us to experience world, that is why, we don’t have any single right to dump them.

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To my mama: I LOVE YOU MAMA BETTY!!!!! SEE YOU TOMORROW MORNING WITH MY HUGE EYEBAGS! 🙂

xOxo,

pOtz.

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